Ramblings of a Drifting Mind: excuses

Showing posts with label excuses. Show all posts

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Back in Action

It has begun. I am writing again. Starting this week I'll be in at least one writing group. I shall make it my goal to read blogs and update at least once a week. I am doing this. For real. No more excuses. No more waiting for the right moment or idea or whatever. Dreams only come true if you work for them. So I think it's about time I got off my butt. Off to get started.

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Making a Comeback

I've finally hit my limit. After graduation I'm done with school. At least for now. I haven't written anything or edited any of my stuff since before I started my Master's program and I can't handle it any more. I wanted to get my PhD because I wanted to teach classes that I'm interested in, to have a day job I enjoyed that would give me time to work on my writing. But when I'm in school, I can't write. I don't have the time, the energy, or the creativity. And I refuse to let my writing take a back seat and wait for me to have a job I like that pays well and gives me plenty of writing time; if I did, I may never write another word of fiction in my life. I enjoy teaching composition, and I don't need a PhD for that.

So this is me stepping away from another 3-6 years of school, not because I'm afraid of the challenge or because I don't think I can handle it, but because I no longer have a good enough reason to go. Why put off what makes me happy for the possibility of future happiness when I can do what I love and be happy now? Why did I have to make this so complicated to begin with? I've said I was going to be back on more (and I have), but I really think after I get this thesis done and I graduate (again) that my writing life will make a major comeback, and posting here and reading what you guys have to say is a big part of that. I've let my writing, and myself, sit for far too long. And I'm happier just thinking about what graduation holds for me now. Here's to being true to yourself and doing what you love.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Time, Excuses, and Writing

I don't know where all my time goes. It's kind of ridiculous. I mean, I get that I'm not the most time efficient person in the world, and I have a tendency to opt for having what I can of a social life or down time when I find a spare few moments, but seriously. There just aren't enough hours in the day. I have so many things to do, and that doesn't even include the things I love doing but that I have to put on a back burner simply because they don't pay the bills or contribute to my classes (I'm looking at you, horn, cello, book ideas, and half finished MSs).

Right now, it's the summer. I can't tell. I'm still taking a class each term, working ~34 hours/week, and trying to do things for my fraternity office, find a PhD program I like (I've figured out exactly what I want to study/teach, so that's a bonus), study for my MA comprehensive exam as well as the GRE English subject test, and research/plan my thesis. In the fall, things are really going to get interesting...

My problem is that I keep thinking about my characters and my stories. I want to work on them. I want to get them finished and sent off to publishers. I want to see them in stores. But at this point all I have is self-doubt. I could carve out time for it; I'm sure I could. Only every time I start going down that train of thoughts I hit this wall that tells me I'm not good enough a writer to be published, that I'll never finish anything worth reading, that I have no clue what I'm doing and I shouldn't even bother, that I should just stick to school because I can actually do that.

Funny how we always want to blame time for the things we don't get done, isn't it? Yes, I'm short on time, incredibly short on time, but if I had the confidence in myself and my work, I'd do a better job of prioritizing and making room for my characters and their stories, for improving my craft. But even admitting that, I don't know where to go from here. I can't write when I feel like every word is crap and that it's always going to be crap. I can't edit when it feels pointless. So I don't. Because I don't even feel like I have betas any more or crit partners, and that's my own fault, too.

*sigh* Balls, this life stuff is hard.

Friday, September 30, 2011

Brain Dead

I was going to post a review yesterday of Nina LeCour's Hold Still, but I had the GRE at 8 AM and then got called into work from 1-9 PM. Obviously the review didn't happen. Today I woke up late and have to be at work soon. So you have my apologies on the delays, but I promise you will get reviews of Hold Still, Shift by Jeri Smith-Ready, and Texas Gothic by Rosemary Clement-Moore next week. With any luck I'll have Veronica Roth's Divergent up as well, but no guarantees on that one.

Go forth; have a terrific Friday; and enjoy the lovely weekend!

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Knock, Knock

*looks out at followers* Are you guys still here? I know I recently lost two of you, and that saddens me, but ya know 2 months without an update is a good reason to go.

But, I'm alive!! Really, I'm right here. I promise. And this semester is so close to being finished it's funny in one of those I'm-going-crazy kind of ways. I haven't read a book in, umm, a long time. It hurts me. I think it's been longer since I had time to read than since the last time I posted, if that tells you anything. And it's been just as bad with my writing.

HOWEVER, I totally had time to open up my 2nd draft and do a little work on The Sandman's Apprentice!!!!! So, really, guys, I'm back. Promise. I've got a few finals left, but then it's nothing but reading, writing, and doing some light working at the library. And then there's the bit of Christmas break I'm actually going home for, and then next semester, which should be a breeze compared to this one. I will never leave you again for two months. Even when I move to NY. I will find internet. I WILL talk to you all.

Anyway, all that to say that I missed you all, and I hope you don't hate me for dropping off the planet.

Friday, July 30, 2010

Umm, hi again.

I have got to stop telling you guys I'll have something up by a certain day. Because, seriously, I hate breaking promises. But here I am, without a review. Again.

Life has been more than a little crazy lately. But I keep having things come up, or I'm not scheduling my time properly and things aren't getting done. I was going to have a review up for you today, but yesterday I didn't get up until noon and then when I did I spent most of the day in bed feeling sick and being barely able to move because I was so drained of energy.

And since I'm off to visit my brother for a few days to celebrate his pending divorce, I hope to be up and running again next week. (I always have free time when we visit my brother, and I told you guys things were crazy.) Anyway, without a doubt I have another awesome interview for you guys, and I'm working on another after that.

In the meantime, I'd like to know what all of you are reading regardless of age group and genre. So let's have it. What have you been reading lately?

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

WiP Wednesday, College, Life, Fraternity, and Supernatural

So it's that time of week again and, alas, I have nothing to show for my WiP. This hurts me. I've been trying to transition back into college and frankly it's wiping me out. I have about an hour and a half right now though so as soon as I'm done here my butt will be glued to my bed and Word will be up.

I mean it.

College is awesome. Really it is. I'm a nerd, I love school. My only problem with it is the other people. They tend to lose all of their manners and become rude little pricks who are so wrapped up in drama that sometimes I feel like I've been physically run over by the train of lies, accusations, and angst that trails behind them.

Yay college. :) On the other hand, my classes FREAKING ROCK. Except Psychology, he just preaches straight outta the book. It's dull. But everything else is amazing. :D

All of my free time lately has been going to homework, my friends and/or the fraternity to which I have pledge my soul (it's music, so it to a good cause). What's left of my time after all of that? Quality roommate bonding time over Supernatural on DVD. What better way to de-stress than by watching Jared Padelecki and Jensen Ackles battle supernatural forces?

Absolutely. Nothing. (Unless you throw in some Jiffy Pop and Dr. Pepper or sweet tea.)

So that's what I've been doing. Taking life one day at a time and trying to figure out when I'll have time to write. Speaking of which, I'm down to an hour and twelve minutes so I'm gonna gonna go now.

Hopefully the rest of you have had MUCH more success and progress this week than I have. I know life has been getting in all of your ways as well so here's to hoping she'll stop being so needy and clingly and let us get some work done.

QUESTION of the DAY: What do you do to de-stress after a long and tiring, or possibly just nerver-wracking, day?

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Falling Behind

It's Wednesday. I missed Teaser Tuesday and have nothing to show for WiP Wednesday and I'm sad.

Dear College,
Stop interfering with my writing.
Yours truly,
Amanda

However, it looks like I'll have plenty of time to balance classes, lessons, homework, practicing, a social life, SAI meetings, AND writing so it's all good. I'll jump back on the writing later today and might catch up on the last two days' posts. Might.

On another note, I'm super excited about the Mythology class I'm taking. It reminded me how much I love school, and we haven't even started yet! Haha. Yay for nerdery. :D

Well, I'm off to try writing since I don't have my reading glasses and reading tiny text from a book is harder on my eyes than typing is. Here's to hoping the week off will let me fly through this!

Is your life getting in the way of your writing lately?

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Writing, Rambling, and A Good Book.

It's raining outside. Not pouring just a light rain with thunder making the puppy growl, this is her first bit of rain :), and the cat run for cover, she's not a big fun of rain :(. But it's a good day. The sky is full of clouds and, even though it's still warm, it's almost perfect.

I read Scott Westerfeld's Uglies recently and although I liked it, I'm not really compelled to go out and find the next book in the series. It makes me a little sad, actually. The book was good, predictable, but good. I just didn't connect enough to the main character, Tally, to wonder what happened to her. Actually, I could probably figure it out for my self, which is probably why I don't really care if I ever read the rest of it. Sad. :(

I did, however, absolutely LOVE Graceling. It was fantastic and I really hope to see more of Katsa, Po, and Bitterblue. Kristin Cashore wrote a fantastic debut. I want to track her down and hug her. Or maybe I'll just go to her blog and tell her how AMAZING I think it was. *sigh* Really though, if you haven't read it yet you should. Go. Read it now. Hehe.

As for my own writing, I haven't touched the WiP in a few days. In fact I haven't written anything except for the random flash fiction in the middle of the night. I need to get back on it but I've had books to read :), and reading everyone else's blogs, and now trying to get ready for a weekend trip to see my grandpa and go dig for diamonds. I know, they're just excuses. Even now I could be writing or editing but I'm here writing a blog. So now that I've pointed that out, I guess I'll go be productive and actually do some writing.

What excuses do you have for not writing?

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