Tuesday, October 6, 2009

C'est la vie.

My cello instructor is a great man. Not only can he impersonate Yoda and Chewbaca, but he also genuinely cares about people. I'm having a bit of a rough patch already this semester, something that seems to happen every semester for some reason, and do you know Casey told me? "C'est la vie." Such is life.

I don't know how to take this. No matter what I do or who I spend time with, people continuously have mean things to say about me, things that aren't true, things that are meant to hurt me. And I don't know why. I try to be a good person and be nice to people. I don't spread rumors or get into other people's business. So why do these things keep happening to me? Because that's just the way life is?

First I was having an affair with a married man. Then I was stealing the same guy away from his new girlfriend. I'm telling lies, acting strange, looking for power and getting into Fraternity business that doesn't concern me, AND I am now a closet lesbian because I cut my hair. And the worst part about this is that according to the person who was confronted about all of this, it is my roommate who happens to be one of my closest friends who is saying all of these things.

I've tried to be kind to people. I've tried staying out of their business. I've tried being myself. Nothing I do seems to be good enough for anyone and frankly I'm tired of it. Is this the way life's supposed to be? Yes, I know that no matter where you go there's drama and BS, but really?

It's mid semester and I'm ready to be away from all of these people. Switching schools has never looked better but I don't know if it's the right thing to do. Maybe it's just these people at this school, but seriously, was I the only one who missed the memo that said college was about being the biggest ass imaginable to those around you? Or is that just a life in general rule?

What's the deal? I was told life would get better after high school, which by the way was not the best time of my life at all, but instead things just keep getting worse.

I know this has nothing to do with anything, though I suppose it could make one heck of a novel someday, but I needed to let it out and see what the rest of the world has to say about life and drama.

Do you have any drama? Is life the way you thought it would be?


Jade said...

It sounds like it's your room-mate who has the problem. I've found that some people can only feel good about themselves by bringing other people down.

I can totally relate with everything that you've said. I once had someone in my life who was supposed to be my best-friend, but then I found out that-- amongst other horrid things--tried to convince my boyfriend to leave me. The same man that I ended up marrying.

I was completely devasted. I mean, it really crushed my self-esteem and my ability to trust others. Eventually I realised that she was the one with the problem; I had done no wrong. I comforted myself with the knowledge that I was a better person.

As much as it sucks, you just have to remind yourself that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. A cliche perhaps, but also true.

Plus, she has some serious bad karma coming her way!

Amanda J. said...

Yea, I don't know what's gotten into her. I told her when we first started rooming together that if she ever had a problem with me to just let me know so that this wouldn't happen. So I'm starting to think she just wants to cause problems. :(

So I think I'm gonna finish out this semester and then go move in with someone else in the Spring. And if things still don't get better I think I'm going to transfer schools for my senior year....

But, Jade, you are pretty much awesome. Thanks for caring! :) And I'm a firm believer in karma haha.

Jade said...

No worries, Amanda. I hope things improve. Moving out is probably a good thing. I don't think it's healthy to have to live in constant negativity and conflict.

KristinKaye said...

Remember, they're not worth you time. You are way better than them.


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