Thursday, May 16, 2013
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
So this is me stepping away from another 3-6 years of school, not because I'm afraid of the challenge or because I don't think I can handle it, but because I no longer have a good enough reason to go. Why put off what makes me happy for the possibility of future happiness when I can do what I love and be happy now? Why did I have to make this so complicated to begin with? I've said I was going to be back on more (and I have), but I really think after I get this thesis done and I graduate (again) that my writing life will make a major comeback, and posting here and reading what you guys have to say is a big part of that. I've let my writing, and myself, sit for far too long. And I'm happier just thinking about what graduation holds for me now. Here's to being true to yourself and doing what you love.
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
I've missed you guys. Sorry I've been MIA, but I'll do my best to catch up on all your lives soon. :) But tell me, how are all of you?
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Right now, it's the summer. I can't tell. I'm still taking a class each term, working ~34 hours/week, and trying to do things for my fraternity office, find a PhD program I like (I've figured out exactly what I want to study/teach, so that's a bonus), study for my MA comprehensive exam as well as the GRE English subject test, and research/plan my thesis. In the fall, things are really going to get interesting...
My problem is that I keep thinking about my characters and my stories. I want to work on them. I want to get them finished and sent off to publishers. I want to see them in stores. But at this point all I have is self-doubt. I could carve out time for it; I'm sure I could. Only every time I start going down that train of thoughts I hit this wall that tells me I'm not good enough a writer to be published, that I'll never finish anything worth reading, that I have no clue what I'm doing and I shouldn't even bother, that I should just stick to school because I can actually do that.
Funny how we always want to blame time for the things we don't get done, isn't it? Yes, I'm short on time, incredibly short on time, but if I had the confidence in myself and my work, I'd do a better job of prioritizing and making room for my characters and their stories, for improving my craft. But even admitting that, I don't know where to go from here. I can't write when I feel like every word is crap and that it's always going to be crap. I can't edit when it feels pointless. So I don't. Because I don't even feel like I have betas any more or crit partners, and that's my own fault, too.
*sigh* Balls, this life stuff is hard.