Ramblings of a Drifting Mind

Friday, January 9, 2015

New Year, New Plans

It is dawning on me that the older I get the more I like routines, schedules, lists. I try not to plan out my meals for the week but find myself frustrated by a lack of supplies in my pantry. I try not to schedule out my time, then discover there's never enough of it or that I've already wasted the only 45 minutes of free time I had all day. I try and try not to make too many plans or to stick to a schedule, and it's because too frequently such things have backfired on me. With each passing week, however, I long more and more for routine. For a predetermined time in which to do my reading and writing, my grading, my cooking.

So I'm going to try to make a schedule and stick to it. Starting Monday, I'll be at school MWF 8 AM to 2 PM teaching 3 classes and holding office hours, which I will truly use for school related work. As of right now, I have Tuesdays and Thursdays off, but I also work at the local movie theatre, so I'll be determining the best schedule for my week there soon. Ideally, I'll work there on Mondays or Wednesdays, Fridays, and Sunday afternoons, giving me Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays off to work on a business venture, read, write, craft, and recuperate. Tuesdays and Thursday will be my personal work days, meaning crafting for the Etsy shop I'd like to open and business things I'm finding it difficult not to talk about. I would love to read a new book every (or every other) Saturday and spend a good chunk of time on my writing, which I have been ignoring rather horribly lately out of frustration. On Sundays I'd like to get in my major cooking escapades and meal prep for the week, so I don't have to worry about not having time or energy to make dinner on weeknights.

Already this sounds daunting, but I know that in all actuality it's not that bad; I haven't even scheduled out every hour of the day. Still, it's a start.

And in case you missed the memo, I'm primarily posting over on my new page bookish.things.blog where I put all my book related things, including reviews, short stories, and publishing plans, so head over there and follow that feed to stay up to date with me!

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Moving!

And the new blog is up and running. If you'd like, you can find me here now:
http://author-ajohnson.blogspot.com/

It's been a wonderful few years, and I hope to see you guys around!

Love,
Manda

Friday, April 4, 2014

Starting Over

You may have noticed I deleted this blog. But then, with the amount of posting I do, you probably didn't. I felt bad for never using this, never having anything worth saying, so I was just going to get rid of it. But the truth is, I really do miss blogging, having a place to just talk in more than 140 characters or to people who don't see me every day or know me in real life.

When I started this blog, I didn't know what I wanted it to be, so it ended up being a little of everything. Some of me and my writing, book reviews, agent and author interviews. I wanted to please the internet and contribute something. Now I just want to get back to having a blog for me. Letting you all know what's happening in my life or in my writing, seeing what's up with all of you. So that's what I'm going to do.

I'll leave this blog up because it does have some valuable posts in its history, but I'll be starting over with a new blog. If you want to follow me there, stay tuned; I'll post a link when it's ready. If not, no hard feelings. It's been fun and interesting, and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Love,
Manda

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Dream Big and Live Life

I am twenty four, and there are only a couple of things in my life I have ever been truly sure of: the first is that I want to spend the rest of my life with my boyfriend Todd, which I've known almost since we got together; the second is that I have always wanted to write for a living. I'm fairly certain I'll get to do the former, and I have never been so convinced that the latter is what I truly want to do with my life. The only thing standing in my way is me. I know.

I graduated with my MA in English in May, and I can honestly say I'm not even sure I read a book that wasn't required in the entire year and a half I was pursuing that degree, much less put pen to paper. Before that, I was getting my BA, and finding time to write was difficult, but I still managed. Now, though, I teach three classes a semester, which means that even though I have huge chunks of free time in my schedule, I'm constantly exhausted and tired of words on pages and using my time to grade papers (sometimes). I also work at a movie theater because being a teacher really doesn't pay all the bills, especially since I only get paid once a month. So I teach in the mornings and am done by 12:30, and then I spend my nights and weekends shoveling popcorn and making drinks. It's a glamorous life, let me tell you. I am lucky when I get a day off at all, and any actual free time I have is normally spent curled up on my couch staring blankly at the TV simply because my eyes burn and/or I'm too mentally and physically exhausted to make my brain work.

But if I want it, I'll make time. Isn't that what people say? You force yourself to write whenever you can. Any words are better than no words. But I was an English major. And a perfectionist. And I hate writing things that are bad. I like to take my time and craft them well so there's less revising and editing and cutting and all that lovely jazz. But, Amanda, you say, that's just how writing works. Not just writing, creating anything, heck, even life! It's messy and takes work and patience! And I know it. I do. You know what else I know? That I just want to write. I don't want to worry about whether my classes are failing or if my students have figured out how to string words and sentences together any better or if I'm going to want to punch my coworkers for being too lazy to sweep up popcorn. I just want to write and be happy. But I can't do that until I can pay all my bills. And I can't pay my bills without working myself to the bones. Oh isn't life grand?

And you know what? I still find time to write. Because even though the words are crap and I have papers to grade and popcorn to make, writing is what I love, and if there's one thing I learned from my mother more than anything else, it's that you should do what you love. So I teach, and I work, and I lie in an exhausted heap around my apartment, and I write. Because it has always been my dream for people to read my stories, and it has always been my goal to be good enough at crafting them that people will pay me. And one day, it'll happen.

Monday, October 28, 2013

Titles are hard.

I finished what I thought was going to be a picture book, but it's too long for industry standards. I'm not sure what I'll do with it now; I absolutely love it because it's adorable and was so much fun to write, and, honestly, I'd never even considered self-publishing until now. I would love to have my brother illustrate it. (The man is a tattoo artist with crazy awesome skill, but don't tell him I said that.)

It started out longer, then I cut it down to stop showing everything that was going on since I wanted it to be illustrated, but even with that it's about 1200 words. Most agents won't consider PBs unless they're under 1k, and some even draw the line at 750 words. And oh have I tried to cut it down; sadly the story just won't allow it. So I have a cute story that needs illustrations, and everything I've seen says it's nearly impossible to get an early reader or chapter book published if it's a standalone. *sigh*

But writing is what I do, so I'll put it on the shelf and hold onto it, and maybe some day it'll get published. I really hope so. The whole thing started with the first line, and I just couldn't get it out of my head: "Once upon a time in a land called Suburbia, there lived a well-dressed man who had a daughter with a fondness for cats." Once I started writing, it turned into this story about a man who gets a visit from a talking cat after his daughter makes a wish to upgrade for a tail, and I just ran with it. And it feels so good to have created something new after two years of nothing but paper writing and literature reading. Of course I still don't have a title for it, which is a tad frustrating, but hopefully I'll think of something soonish.

On another note, edits for The Sandman's Apprentice are coming along, or they were before midterms hit and I had tests and papers out the wazoo. Still playing catch-up there, but I work in time with the MS where I can, and I'm just glad I still love the story, even if parts of it are dreadful. I also started a new story the other day. It came to me with a line, and I'm not entirely sure what it'll be just yet, but it feels like YA so far. I think it may be in a different world than our own, so I'll get to do some real world-building again, and I love that.

Anywho, I have to go do teacher things now because this semester has been terrible, which means I have to rework all my syllabi and adjust the schedules and assignments if I want my students to succeed. What fun!

Friday, October 11, 2013

Kill Your Darlings

So for the first time in a while, I let some people read part of the MS for The Sandman's Apprentice, and I got some decent feedback. But I let a friend of mine, who happens to be a voracious reader when she's not in mommy mode, read it and got an absolutely amazing critique, partly because it's not a genre she usually reads.

Anywho, when I first sent it off to everyone, I refused to look at any of it. I knew it needed work, so showing it to people seemed like a silly idea since I already knew I had issues to fix. And it's probably a good thing I didn't dive back into revisions first, because, honestly, I would have butchered it for no reason. I listened to what everyone had to say, and almost none of the suggestions for changes matched. Everyone thought something completely different. So I opened it up today, and I decided to take it one chapter at a time (if I do it any other way I see how much work I have ahead of me and just want to shut down), and I have to say, I'm kind of blown away by what I've written. I forgot how good it was. I'm not saying it's flawless Literature or anything, but for two years while I've worked on my school stuff, I've been thinking about how crappy bits were and just how much work it needed, and somewhere along the road I convinced myself that the idea was the only solid thing about it. But, man, it's good!

So I'm editing my novel with the help of a writing group I'm not entirely sold on yet, and I'm working on my picture book. And I'm really excited because not only do I have some new ideas I'm toying with too, but I might actually meet my new publishing goal. Things are looking up.

Friday, September 27, 2013

Open New Document

It feels so good to be writing again. I'm working on my first picture book, sans pictures of course because I'm no artist, and it's a whole lot of fun. I've even cracked open The Sandman's Apprentice and even shown a few chapters of it to a few new readers in a writing group at school. Writing used to be like breathing to me, and I can't express how great it is to be getting back to the things I love.

For a good two years now I've been out of the publishing loop trying to find time to jump back in, but all that's changing now. I have a new goal, and you can bet I'm going to do everything possible to see it through. So hello, publishing universe; it's been a while. ;)

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Shiny New Thing

I think I wrote a picture book the other day. I need to go back and work on it, but still. First new words in a while, and I actually like them. Somehow I ended up telling a story about talking cats with attitude; I'll take it. :)

First line: Once upon a time in a land called Suburbia, there lived a well-dressed man who had a young daughter with a fondness for cats.

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Back in Action

It has begun. I am writing again. Starting this week I'll be in at least one writing group. I shall make it my goal to read blogs and update at least once a week. I am doing this. For real. No more excuses. No more waiting for the right moment or idea or whatever. Dreams only come true if you work for them. So I think it's about time I got off my butt. Off to get started.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

She lives!

Last Friday I graduated with my MA in English. It took me a year and a half and nearly killed me, but I did it. I've spent the last week trying to finish moving in to my new apartment (I still have boxes to unpack) and getting settled, but I'm almost done. I've read two books the last couple of days while at work, and intend to keep it up the rest of the summer, because frankly I have a lot of catching up to do. Next fall I start as adjunct faculty at the same school I've been at for the last six years, and I'm pretty excited to have time to get back to the books, both the writing and reading of them. Things have been crazy for me the last couple of years, but I think it's time to get back to me, which means I'll be back soon, lovelies, stalking your blogs and reading your books. Might even get back to Twitter again! but in the mean time, take care, and good luck with your endeavors!

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Making a Comeback

I've finally hit my limit. After graduation I'm done with school. At least for now. I haven't written anything or edited any of my stuff since before I started my Master's program and I can't handle it any more. I wanted to get my PhD because I wanted to teach classes that I'm interested in, to have a day job I enjoyed that would give me time to work on my writing. But when I'm in school, I can't write. I don't have the time, the energy, or the creativity. And I refuse to let my writing take a back seat and wait for me to have a job I like that pays well and gives me plenty of writing time; if I did, I may never write another word of fiction in my life. I enjoy teaching composition, and I don't need a PhD for that.

So this is me stepping away from another 3-6 years of school, not because I'm afraid of the challenge or because I don't think I can handle it, but because I no longer have a good enough reason to go. Why put off what makes me happy for the possibility of future happiness when I can do what I love and be happy now? Why did I have to make this so complicated to begin with? I've said I was going to be back on more (and I have), but I really think after I get this thesis done and I graduate (again) that my writing life will make a major comeback, and posting here and reading what you guys have to say is a big part of that. I've let my writing, and myself, sit for far too long. And I'm happier just thinking about what graduation holds for me now. Here's to being true to yourself and doing what you love.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Academic VS Creative

Academic writing is incredibly different from creative writing. My thesis is currently 14 pages and utilizes a good dozen sources, and I've been working on it for months. Months of creative writing gives me five times as many pages. At least. And yet they really aren't all that different. All of it is personal and all of it requires individual thought. But academic writing, at least research based academic writing, requires you to build on what others have said and to incorporate their thoughts into your own writing. Fiction writing )and poetry for that matter) is all you. Maybe that's why it comes more naturally to so many of us. Yes, it requires research, but the writing, the story itself comes from us. Everything we need, we already have. Writing a thesis on the other hand, well, I need a lot for that, haha.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Hey there, good lookin'. Again.

I am almost finished with my MA, you guys. I have an independent study class, a comprehensive exam, and a thesis/thesis presentation next semester and then I'm done. I've gotten the first chunk of my thesis done, so I'm super excited. And, for the record, it's on YA dystopias. :) Keeping it nerdy for you guys. I'm on break now, which means it's time to bust out the MS that's covered in dust and catch up on some reading.

I've missed you guys. Sorry I've been MIA, but I'll do my best to catch up on all your lives soon. :) But tell me, how are all of you?

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Time, Excuses, and Writing

I don't know where all my time goes. It's kind of ridiculous. I mean, I get that I'm not the most time efficient person in the world, and I have a tendency to opt for having what I can of a social life or down time when I find a spare few moments, but seriously. There just aren't enough hours in the day. I have so many things to do, and that doesn't even include the things I love doing but that I have to put on a back burner simply because they don't pay the bills or contribute to my classes (I'm looking at you, horn, cello, book ideas, and half finished MSs).

Right now, it's the summer. I can't tell. I'm still taking a class each term, working ~34 hours/week, and trying to do things for my fraternity office, find a PhD program I like (I've figured out exactly what I want to study/teach, so that's a bonus), study for my MA comprehensive exam as well as the GRE English subject test, and research/plan my thesis. In the fall, things are really going to get interesting...

My problem is that I keep thinking about my characters and my stories. I want to work on them. I want to get them finished and sent off to publishers. I want to see them in stores. But at this point all I have is self-doubt. I could carve out time for it; I'm sure I could. Only every time I start going down that train of thoughts I hit this wall that tells me I'm not good enough a writer to be published, that I'll never finish anything worth reading, that I have no clue what I'm doing and I shouldn't even bother, that I should just stick to school because I can actually do that.

Funny how we always want to blame time for the things we don't get done, isn't it? Yes, I'm short on time, incredibly short on time, but if I had the confidence in myself and my work, I'd do a better job of prioritizing and making room for my characters and their stories, for improving my craft. But even admitting that, I don't know where to go from here. I can't write when I feel like every word is crap and that it's always going to be crap. I can't edit when it feels pointless. So I don't. Because I don't even feel like I have betas any more or crit partners, and that's my own fault, too.

*sigh* Balls, this life stuff is hard.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Hello there, good lookin'!

I've missed you. And by 'you' I'm not only referring to this blog where I used to pour my heart out but also to you, lovely readers, whose conversation I have dearly missed. School has been out for a few weeks now, but I haven't been able to get on here or Twitter because, frankly, it's a huge task keeping up with blog feeds and Twitter streams. I don't have time for it like I use to, but I'm going to try to at least be a presence here again. I really have missed you all.

I hope all of your writing has been going well and that many of you are landing agents and making book deals. The Universe knows you all deserve it! I've been away from writing for a little while now, trying to focus on school and such, but I think it's time to jump back in and rip TSA to pieces (again) and finish the first draft of my ghostly twins novel. On an academic note, I'll be starting work on my Master's Thesis this summer; I'm super excited because I'll be writing about YA literature, specifically Matched, The Hunger Games, and Divergent. It's all about love in YA dystopias and the difference between older/adult dystopias and YA dystopias. So I've been writing, just for a different audience, haha.

Well, I'm currently at work and must get back to it, but I hope you're all having a fabulous summer. And please, do tell me how you are. :)

Friday, January 20, 2012

Review: Fracture

Fracture by Megan Miranda

Age Group: Young Adult
Published: January 17, 2012 by Walker Children's
Format: eARC, 272 pgs.
Source: NetGalley

Description:

Eleven minutes passed before Delaney Maxwell was pulled from the icy waters of a Maine lake by her best friend Decker Phillips. By then her heart had stopped beating. Her brain had stopped working. She was dead. And yet she somehow defied medical precedent to come back seemingly fine

—despite the scans that showed significant brain damage. Everyone wants Delaney to be all right, but she knows she's far from normal. Pulled by strange sensations she can't control or explain, Delaney finds herself drawn to the dying. Is her altered brain now predicting death, or causing it?

Then Delaney meets Troy Varga, who recently emerged from a coma with similar abilities. At first she's reassured to find someone who understands the strangeness of her new existence, but Delaney soon discovers that Troy's motives aren't quite what she thought. Is their gift a miracle, a freak of nature-or something much more frightening?

For fans of best-sellers like Before I Fall and If I Stay, this is a fascinating and heart-rending story about love and friendship and the fine line between life and death.

Review: Touch of Power

Touch of Power (Healer #1) by Maria V. Snyder

Age Group: Adult
Published: December 20, 2011 by Mira
Format: eARC, 394 pgs
Source: NetGalley

Description:

Laying hands upon the injured and dying, Avry of Kazan absorbs their wounds and diseases into herself. But rather than being honored for her skills, she is hunted. Healers like Avry are accused of spreading the plague that has decimated the Fifteen Realms, leaving the survivors in a state of chaos.

Stressed and tired from hiding, Avry is abducted by a band of rogues who, shockingly, value her gift above the golden bounty offered for her capture. Their leader, an enigmatic captor-protector with powers of his own, is unequivocal in his demands: Avry must heal a plague-stricken prince—leader of a campaign against her people. As they traverse the daunting Nine Mountains, beset by mercenaries and magical dangers, Avry must decide who is worth healing and what is worth dying for. Because the price of peace may well be her life...

Mini-Review: A fast and fun read full of magic, adventure, and unforgettable characters.

It's Not You. It's Me

I don't know why, but lately I feel as if I can't speak freely any more. Not here. Not on my Facebook. Twitter seems safe for the time being. But any time I try to say how I feel I swear it's like I have to edit and censor everything I say because people just keep picking fights and making a huge deal out of things all over the internet. I'm afraid I'm going to say something and become the center of some controversy. So I try to limit what I talk about, only now it's like I have nothing to say at all because I'll piss someone off or offend someone, and I'm tired of worrying about what everyone thinks and feels.

I started this blog for me to have an outlet and talk freely about books and writing and now I feel as if I'm constantly walking on egg shells. I hate it. I don't even read many blogs any more because I feel obligated to comment but then can't think of anything to say or think my opinion doesn't matter or am afraid I'll upset someone. It's ridiculous.

Last week I said I was going to try to do Marvelous Middle Grade Mondays. This week I'm just going to try to get one review up. I have a couple of eARCs I'm going to review, but other than that, I think I'm going to step away from the blogosphere.

Graduate school starts in January. I'm going to be taking classes, working in the writing lab, working in the library, and teaching a Foundational Composition course while trying to maintain some form of a writing life, a social life, and being an active member of my fraternity (Sigma Alpha Iota). I am going to be busy. Originally I had planned on maintaining the blog and continuing posting reviews, but now I don't even want to.

You guys have been awesome and supportive and I thank you all for that. Maybe some time away will help and I'll be able to come back and read all of your blogs and laugh and cry with you again. But right now I need some time to myself. I need to feel like I can be who I am and say what I want without fear of being chased down by a mob with torches and pitchforks.

I'll post a couple of reviews and I may even drop in with some updates so you guys know I'm still alive, but as of now my posts will more than likely be sporadic and few and far between. I wish you all the best and hope to see you on the other side. <3

Monday, December 5, 2011

Review: How to Train Your Dragon

How to Train Your Dragon (Hiccup Horrendous Haddoc III #1) by Cressida Cowell

Age Group: Middle Grade
Published: February 1, 2010 by Little, Brown Books for Young Readers (first published 2003)
Format: Paperback, 214 pgs.
Source: Purchased
Marvelous Middle Grade Monday

Description:

Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III is a truly extraordinary Viking hero known throughout Vikingdom as "the Dragon Whisperer" ... but it wasn't always so. Travel back to the days when the mighty warrior was just a boy, the quiet and thoughtful son of the Chief of the Hairy Hooligans. Can Hiccup capture a dragon and train it without being torn limb from limb? Join the adventure as the small boy finds a better way to train his dragon and becomes a hero!

Review: Shiver

Shiver (The Wolves of Mercy Falls #1) by Maggie Stiefvater

Age Group: Young Adult
Published: June 1, 2010 by Scholastic (first published 2009)
Format: Paperback, 390 pgs.
Source: Purchased

Description:

the cold.
Grace has spent years watching the wolves in the woods behind her house. One yellow-eyed wolf—her wolf—watches back. He feels deeply familiar to her, but she doesn't know why.

the heat.
Sam has lived two lives. As a wolf, he keeps the silent company of the girl he loves. And then, for a short time each year, he is human, never daring to talk to Grace...until now.

the shiver.
For Grace and Sam, love has always been kept at a distance. But once it's spoken, it cannot be denied. Sam must fight to stay human—and Grace must fight to keep him—even if it means taking on the scars of the past, the fragility of the present, and the impossibility of the future.

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